iCrucified

Perhaps you might remember my post from about a month ago about the upcoming release of Phil Wickham’s newest CD, Heaven & Earth. I mentioned a strong preference for a couple of songs on this compilation; one was Eden and the other was Heaven & Earth. I haven’t stopped listening to this since I purchased it a month ago… I listen to it at home, in the car, on my iPod, through my laptop, and I’ve taken to learning several songs on my guitar as well. I just realized part of the reason for my strong attraction to this collection of melodies…they resonate with and bring comfort to my own heart’s desire.

I write these next words aware of my own vulnerability… but just feel the need to express them nonetheless. My soul is discontent, not discouraged; one of the definitions (from dictionary.com) is “a restless desire or craving for something one does not have.” That’s me; discontent. My heart is alive like it has never been before and seems to be burning even more passionately with each passing minute for the Kingdom of God. I want to see people living passionately with the resurrection life fueling their every movement and action in this life…and I don’t, so I’m discontent. “I crave something I do not have.” I am hungry to see this not only in the people that do not know the man-God-Jesus, but also for those who profess to know him and look no different from the people who do not know “about” Him. I’m tired and my heart hurts when I see my fellow humans struggling and worn from the burdens of life; I want to scream, I want to rebel against this attitude (similar to the fashion of Jesus turning over tables in the temple) because I know we do not have to live under this oppressive weight. This is not life. I see people, Christian people, running frantically through life as lab mice in a maze incessantly bumping into the same dead end walls…hoping to find a way out. We don’t have to live this way.

I think about the lyrics to Phil’s song Eden; he writes from Adam’s perspective in one of the verses:

“When the first light brightened the dark, before the breaking of the human heart; there was You and there was me. Innocence was all I knew; ‘cuz all I had to know was You, we were running underneath the trees…I remember how You’d call my name and I would meet You at the garden gate; how the glory of Your love would shine. I still remember when the stars were young; You breathed life into my lungs…Oh, I never felt so alive.”

“I wanna see You face to face; when being in Your arms is a permanent state. I want it like it was back then; I wanna be in Eden.”

I think, to have known what Adam knew, must have been incredible. At a point in his relationship with God, there was not only no sin, but no memory of sin either. What glory and what free-flowing love must have existed in that relationship! It boggles my mind and brings tears to my eyes when I think of what it must have felt like to Adam as he toiled over the earth, exiled from the garden and relation with God knowing fully what he had lost. I cannot imagine how he must have felt as he mourned the murder of one son by the hand of another son and realized his own choices were the blame for his brokenness. How his heart must have longed for that lost love and purity of relationship with Creator God. I can only wonder, but I do feel an eternal hunger for that relationship. I cannot know, for I have memories, of what sinless relationship is with God. I understand I am forgiven and I know that God chooses to not remember my sins, but I want that “Edenic” relationship…fully purified, wholly glorified, and immortally realized in the fullness of Christ Jesus my Savior.

I sense urgency in my life and in my ministry calling like I have never felt before; truly the “time is now…” Phil Wickham relates this urgency in another song from Heaven & Earth titled “The Time is Now”

It’s time to make a move so what will you decide; the clock is ticking on don’t let it pass you by it’s time, it’s time…

You’ve learned every song, memorized the verse you’ve took the bread and wine and even bought the shirt, but its time… It’s time to hold your shield, it’s time to draw your sword less evil, resistance, oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord… It’s time, it’s time… The time is now for lifting souls; the time is now for letting go. From your skin to your core let light and love come rushing through the door… It’s time to make a stand; so put your heart in greater hands, from your skin to your core let light and love come rushing through the door

Sisters, brothers, thieves, and lovers… Come on, come on, eternity… Turn your faces from finite places; Heaven’s grace will set you free.

To this end, I believe. Indeed, Heaven’s Grace will set us all free…if we will receive and embrace it. I do not want to spend another moment giving  lip service to the serious work of advancing God’s Kingdom. Forget “committeeing,” discussing and voting stuff into oblivion and “non-advancement”.  Let us join ranks and link arms in the steadfast  and advancing pursuit of His Kingdom, living every second in the alert awareness of His divine “ever-present” Presence. I long for the opportunity to live in community with like-minded peoples who are absolutely and utterly consumed with this same desire. I do not want anything less. Put me in, Coach.

I’m climbing the fences I’m crossing the seas I’ll cover the distance I just want You to shine on me. I’m laying down my life ‘Cause I know what You’re worth I’m crossing the great line between heaven and earth. My beating heart is bursting out my skin to go further up and further in whatever it takes to bring me somewhere higher be it rain or be it fire…

I hear You calling me and I come running, I’ve fallen into love and nothing will stop me… I hear You calling me and I come running  –Heaven & Earth; from the Album Heaven & Earth by Phil Wickham

Even so, Come Lord Jesus. Amen.