iCrucified

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Engaged in this season of Lent, I am sharing the journey with some friends. I challenged them this week to put pen to paper and share a poem, song, or psalm as they meditate and reflect upon the season and their Savior.

(Note – Technically it is only day thirteen, but for the sake of this reflection I have included the two Sundays that have passed in my counting of days).

I have tried to “practice what I preach” leading with example the following piece entered into my journal this morning:

Day 15 (A Lenten Reflection)   ~~by Jeff Borden

Fifteen days…

I feel the tag-team nemesis of complacency and apathy plotting against me;

Fasting and early mornings are an inconvenience and burgeoning nuisance.

So easily annoyed in my self-denial this saint I am;

So easily distracted from my nearness to Him, in my focus on me.

Fifteen days…and sadness surrounds

In the darkness of me I examine my weakness; the frail flesh that always disappoints,

Driven by awareness of my own deceptions, the mirror of my soul screams at me:

Self-Righteous! Sinner! Idolater! Guilty!

And my spirit is poor.

Fifteen days…repentance resounds

The purpose of the fast evidences itself as a searing light exposes the macabre me

Echoes of the Apostle call from the recesses of my memory, “Who will deliver me?”

The promise of rest looms in the distance

Hope is the fuel for a weary sojourner

The desert is wild and relentless; loneliness, doubt, uncertainty, and fear surround

“Who will deliver me?”

Fifteen days…weakened and tempted

Hungry for redemption I call out to my Lord; “Draw near to me as I draw near to you!”

He replies, “I am here”

Fifteen days…renewed and remembering

With prayer and fasting my soul is refreshed;

Strengthened for the journey, Savior removes the blindness of my sin

Eternity’s hope, the promise of never-ending union with the Trinity,

And my wandering heart is set back to task

Complacency and apathy defeated this day, Day Fifteen.

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Today was a significant day. It marked the beginning of the next season in our Christian journey as a family. At the close of our morning worship services in our church today we announced that we would be following the direction of God as He calls us out in this next chapter of ministry…continuing the purpose and advancement of His Kingdom.

Saying “yes” in any capacity means that you must say “no” to something else, and it is with this bittersweet truth that sadness and joy co-mingle in the air of our announcement. There will always be people who do not understand the nature of our decision, but we must be true to what we are “hearing” the Spirit direct. We trust Him, even though we do not know the location or community that He is calling us to. Our experience has proven God’s faithfulness time and time again with every aspect of our lives; we are sure He will prove Himself in this season as well.

With that affirmation, we publicly announce our availability for ministry. My ministry profile, resume, and vision for ministry are all available through links on this website. My contact information is also open through this website should anyone desire to discuss our future. I believe we should live as open and authentic as possible…this post continues support of that belief.

The following letter is the announcement shared with our church family today:

I’ve been giving time and reflection to the past two and a half years of ministry at Valley Chapel and wanted to say how blessed my family has been to be a part of this family. During our time here we have seen people come to learn of God and we have seen lives change. We have had the blessed privilege of partnering with God and people who love Him to reach out to people who did not know Jesus…and we have seen fruit born of these efforts.

We have laughed together and cried together. We have celebrated life and we have grieved over the loss of it. We have prayed for loved ones in their trials and struggles and we have rejoiced together when God has lovingly answered prayers. It is without doubt or reservation that we have enjoyed the gift of community and spirit of kindred heart with our church family.

On a personal level, while serving at Valley Chapel, my faith has grown and I have learned more about myself and the relationship I share with my God. I have been honored to serve alongside a number of gifted people and I have learned many things from them. I have grown as a leader from the things I have learned from my leader and pastor, Pastor Ron. Truly, our time in ministry and our time as a family have been profitable while serving and sharing at Valley Chapel Church.

The teacher and writer of Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time and a season for everything. It is with heavy, but joyful heart, I share with you that our season of ministry at Valley Chapel is nearing conclusion. We have been in extended prayer to discern God’s leading for this next season of spiritual growth and have determined along with leadership that God is “sending” us. To be a church that reaches, teaches, mends, and sends implies the bittersweet joy of sending falls upon our community from time to time. Let us celebrate with joy together, this next season that God has in store for Valley Chapel and for the Borden family.

I am sure that God has given me a personal vision for ministry that is leading us into this next chapter in our spiritual journey. I am currently in discussions with the Conference leadership and will be working with them to determine how God is guiding to put this vision in action for the purpose of advancing His kingdom. We are under appointment to Valley Chapel through the conference year and anticipate continuing in our present roles until early June. We covet your continued prayers as we seek God’s direction and say again, our church family has changed our life for the good and for that we thank you and praise Him.

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Here is an embedded player that has all the audio files updated into a single player. Scroll through the list to select the sermon/message you’d like to hear.

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“Before we can conquer the world, we must first conquer the self.” Oswald Sanders; Spiritual Discipleship

The LORD is our righteousness… (Jeremiah 33:16)

I’ve been spending extended time in the writings of the prophet Jeremiah as I meditate and study through other passages of the Bible… sort of like examining all of the Scriptures through Jeremiah’s eyes. Today as I was doing this, I returned to Jeremiah (chapters 2-3) and noticed a disturbing parallel between the retelling of Israel’s and Judah’s unfaithful relationship with God and modern Christianity; specifically, the North American Church. Painting with a broad brush, we are no different. Here’s what I found that led me to this conclusion. I’ll start with a passage from 2 Timothy 3:1-9 – my recap follows:

• People love themselves (2 Timothy 3:2)
• People are ungrateful (2 Timothy 3:2)
• People love pleasure/comfort more than God (2 Timothy 3:4)
• People act religious but reject the power of God to live godly lives (2 Timothy 3:5)
• People have a counterfeit faith (2 Timothy 3:8)

Now, back to Jeremiah and my comparison/parallel observation…

• We feel shame only when we’re caught… (Jeremiah 2:26)
• We keep our back turned to God most of the time, but in times of trouble, we are quick to turn to Him (Jeremiah 2:27)
• We accuse God of wrongdoing (“why would a good God let _______ happen?”), but we are the ones in rebellion and solely responsible for evil in the world (Jeremiah 2:29)
• We like to profess our innocence before God and pretend that He is okay with everything (Jeremiah 2:35)
• We claim to be children of God and profess Him as our Guide, but continue to live our lives on our own terms (Jeremiah 3:4-5)

All of this looks, to me, uncannily like the American church.  It doesn’t have to be this way…and the apostle Paul (speaking under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, says it won’t stay this way (2 Timothy 3:9). I continue to pray and teach that we embrace fully the teachings of Jesus and become fully devoted subjects to His Kingdom. It will take first, our determination to overthrow the kingdom of self; a feat that requires a radical faith… This is the essence of what it means to be born again; dying to self in order to be reborn into the Kingdom of God. If we continue to serve self, we are not His disciples and not part of the kingdom. “Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You.” (Psalm 25:4-5)

Incline, O Lord, thy merciful ears, and illuminate the darkness of our hearts by the light of thy visitation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Gelasian Sacramentary)

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I’ve taken a bit of a blogging break over the past month. It’s not like I haven’t had much to say, but more like I haven’t been able to fully express it. I’ve been working out some things in my head that I feel in my heart as I’ve been reading, praying, and meditating over the past several months. I am sure that I will be sharing these things in the coming weeks as I finally feel ready to start putting the thoughts to paper and work them out in a more formal way… (Warning) I don’t have everything figured out (I doubt I ever will), but I am feeling pretty confident and affirmed in what has been stirring me for some time now.

More to come…

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Here’s another peak of the Heaven & Earth line-up from Phil Wickham. This will give you a glimpse of the passion he sings with… and in this song you’ll hear an awesome line that resonates with my personal testimony. Into the second verse/chorus Phil sings; “I’m layin’ down my life, cause I know what You’re worth…” Amen!

i crucified… (Galatians 2:20)

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Bleh.

I don’t like distractions.

I don’t like that I don’t like distractions.

I know enough to know that each and every distraction holds within it the opportunity to grow spiritually and to bring glory to God. So, distractions bug me. They bug me because they remind me of how messed up I am…when I think of my own discomfort or inconvenience before asking God what His intent for the distraction is (was) for in the first place.

He is Sovereign. He is Omniscient…

I think, many times… My distraction is His attempt to get my attention. I should worry less and be perturbed less with the distraction. I should be joyful that my God loves me enough to distract me… and, I should seek to gain that for which He distracted me in the first place.

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Simple; not Easy…

For the past several months, I have been “meditating” (opposed to quickly reading) my way through several books. I don’t approach all books in the same way. Some books I breeze through, others I read more intentionally, and some I spend months chewing on them. Occasionally, two or more books will align in a delightful way such that they complement one another far beyond mere chance or coincidence. Presently, Deep-Rooted in Christ by Joshua Choonmin Kang, The Contemplative Pastor by Eugene Peterson, Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Ancient Christian Devotional: A Year of Weekly Readings edited by Thomas Oden, and my Bible are working together in concert to sing a most divine song to my heart.

What is at the core of my post title, Simple; not Easy…? As the list of books above implies, a number of things are at the core…but when these are distilled down to the most common denominator and all the questions are asked and answered, what is left standing is one response; “simple.” What is simple? The answer is simple; the answer to every question and every challenge of life… and that answer is to Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength…then, love your neighbor as yourself. I’m sure there are detractors that say that is not the answer at all, and if it were the answer, it certainly is not simple, but I disagree. It is simple; we choose to put God first and then exercise with deliberate actions and intent to make it so in every facet of life. On the other hand, and as my title infers, it is not easy; not by a long shot.

Reading from The Contemplative Pastor Eugene Peterson writes; “Gabriel Marcel wrote that life is not so much a problem to be solved as a mystery to be explored. That is certainly the biblical stance: life is not something we manage to hammer together and keep in repair by our wits; it is an unfathomable gift. We are immersed in mysteries: incredible love, confounding evil, the creation, the cross, grace, God.” How true; life is a mystery…one we are all trying to figure out. The problem is that we are not equipped to figure it out on our own. There are simply way too many variables and complexities that make the equation unfathomable for us. Not the least of which, in this equation, is the deceptive heart; “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). Here God tells us that without Him, we are not able to even know ourselves. How then, can we hope to make it through life? It seems to me that without putting God first (Deuteronomy 6:5 and Mark 12:28-31), our existence is only as sure as the next roll of the dice…not a very comforting thought.

I often listen to men and women express their discontent, confusion, and uncertainty about life; this isn’t new, unexpected, or abnormal. What perplexes me about this phenomenon of confusion and uncertainty is the amount of pastors, clergy, and spiritual leaders who are bound by it. I meet regularly with men who share a similar calling as I; we help to guide people in the ways of Jesus and faith. This is no easy task. As has already been mentioned, there are great complexities and challenges when human beings are involved…in anything. I am often perplexed and mildly disappointed when I meet with my peers. Many times I will meet with folks from different faith traditions and often I will meet with gentlemen of my own tribe; in either gathering I will frequently hear confessions and professions of faith that seem weak if not entirely contrary to the teachings of Jesus. My words should not be misunderstood; my intent is not criticism, or to judge someone’s faith, but as it relates to the leading of people or teaching the Word of God…it is most assuredly a matter that causes me great concern. Therefore, I am trying to understand why there is disparity between our views, opinions, and methods of counsel. Sorry for dropping off task for a moment, but I like to clarify and qualify my words. Back to my original thought now…

Recently I heard several leaders express their fears about the state of America (political and policy changes), the economy of our nation, and leading people through these times of transition and change. I heard them express uncertainty about knowing God’s direction for them as leaders in His Church and His direction for them as shepherds of His local flock…their home church. At the risk of sounding trite, I don’t get it. I don’t get the fear, I don’t get the uncertainty, and I don’t get the confusion. I understand there are ebbs and flows of our faith, especially so with concession given to physical, emotional, and outside-of-our-control circumstances; however, I think these are exceptions to our “normal” walk with God as opposed to the “natural” order of our faith journey. Yes, life can be difficult and in some cases it can be exceedingly difficult to the level of horrific proportion. It is not easy. The solution; however, is simple. Believe Jesus; take Him at His Word. Put God first in everything that we do; as He has said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” When we live with this as our primary directive, things change.

Problem: Things aren’t changing.

Why aren’t things changing? Why aren’t our church leaders, our spiritual guides, leading with confident trust in God? Why is it that so many of our professed teachers of Christian spirituality seem to have an uncertainty about God’s direction and will for His people? Once again, I think the will of God is pretty obvious (if we are open to the idea of reading the Bible). Jesus taught us what the will of the Father was during His time teaching the Twelve. Jesus shared repeatedly through His public teaching what the essence of God’s Kingdom was. He also told us to pray, teach, and live for the Kingdom of God at every single opportunity. We are to be Kingdom people. The command is simple; implementation and execution are not easy.

Why aren’t we living in compliance with the prayer and instruction of Jesus?

Generally speaking, I believe we have not become disciples. Oh, we profess to know Jesus and we claim to believe “in” him. We call ourselves followers and disciples, but we live frightfully similar lives in terms of those who openly reject Jesus and his teaching. We are easily offended by each other, we strive to purpose our personal agendas, we live immoderately and wasteful with regard to our personal resources, we are more concerned about individual comfort over the plight of the impoverished and marginalized citizens of earth, and we repeatedly rob God of the first fruits of His blessing to us (first fruits extends to every facet of our life: skills and gifting, time, talents, finances, etc.). I ask again, what is the reason for this offensive representation of Christianity? I believe the answer is; we have not become disciples. Jesus said, no one could be his disciple unless he was first willing to deny himself. He went on to clarify that statement to include “being willing to give up everything” to follow him (Luke 14:25-35). Jesus made a number of similar statements to these in other narrative accounts in the gospels; the point being, we must first be willing to die to self in order to become his disciple. This was the heart of his exposition to Nicodemus (John 3); “you must be born again.” One cannot be born again unless he first suffers some form of death whether it is literal or figurative… And again, on yet other occasions, Jesus spent considerable energy trying to explain the “first and last” concept along with the “lose your life to find your life” concept (see Matthew 10:32-39; 16:24-26; Luke 9:23-25). Could it be that our failure in becoming disciples is directly related to the fact we have not first “died to self?” I think this is the problem exactly and I think it is as prevalent among the Five-fold ministry (Eph. 4:11) as it is among those who are not. Yes, evidence indicates there is a large number of people professing to be teachers and leaders who have never become disciples. This is a tragedy. These “would be” teachers are in seriously dangerous territory (see Matthew 23 and James 3:1).

What is the answer; what is the takeaway?

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the takeaway is simple, but not easy. The “Sign of Christ” only comes to those who are first willing to deny (die to) self. The sign of Christ is the transformed heart… without it there is no real evidence of a Christ-filled life.

“The sign of Christ drives the destroyer away from us insofar as our heart receives the Savior.” Augustine

In Deep-Rooted in Christ, Joshua Choonmin Kang reminds his readers of Jesus’ words from John’s Gospel… Jesus portrays his life with rich comparison to seed and fruit (John 12:24-25). “A seed that falls to the ground but doesn’t die won’t produce new life. Only when that seed is broken will the new life begin.” Pastor Kang also asks; “How can we let the life of God flow free? As the Lord said, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me’ (Luke 9:23).” Paul also discovered that the power of God flowed without limits when his self was broken. “I die every day! That is as certain, brothers and sisters, as my boasting of you—a boast that I make in Christ Jesus our Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:31).

“If we say ‘I believe in Jesus’ but it doesn’t affect the way we live, the answer is not that now we need to add hard work to our faith so much as that we haven’t truly understood or believed in Jesus at all.” Timothy Keller

I would add to Dr. Keller’s thought; we have not started down the path of discipleship…I am not following Jesus. My belief only trickles down from my brain to my lips. My belief has not consumed me to the point that it has affected the death of my Adamic nature and put to rest the cold, stony heart of this self-made-man…allowing the reconciling resurrection and restoration of the God-heart (Ezekiel 11:19 and Ezekiel 36:26) evidencing the transformational work of the Holy Spirit. This is the true sign of a disciple and how it begins to affect the way we live.

Simple; not easy.

The result of disciple-flavored leadership is confidence in the face of adversity, joy even in seasons of grief, gentle calmness of soul even when chaos surrounds, discernment, knowledge, and wisdom…yes, the very mind of Christ in a world that reeks of uncertainty. He has given us everything we need to live a godly life; even to sharing in the divine nature (2 Peter 1:2-4). How do we do this; what is our part? Our part is to trust, obey, die to self and follow. It isn’t easy, but it is simple.

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This was a sermon I shared in yesterday’s continuation of our “One Church” Core Values teaching. My contribution to this was centered on our core commitments of Growing through Spiritual Development and Loving & Encouraging One Another. I am including the audio file as well as my sermon notes. I always enjoy feedback and discussion!

Sermon Transcript ||| Outline and Small Group Discussion Questions

2009SEPT06 OneChurch Pt2 by icrucified

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Over twenty-two years ago Laurie and I attended a small “revival” meeting in Start, Louisiana. The visiting evangelist was a man named Danny Stevenson. During that evening toward the end of the service, Brother Stevenson came to Laurie and I laying hands on us in prayer. During his prayer he spoke words that reflected a shared (Laurie and I) life in service and ministry for the Lord Jesus Christ. Through trials, turmoil, and many years of my own rebellion and selfishness we arrived today as one…Laurie and Jeff, sharing ministry side-by-side teaching about what marriage looks like in the eyes of the Creator of marriage. While ministry and serving Jesus is a joy to me beyond expression, today a memory was made that will stand as cherished for the remainder of my days.

I am including with the audio file, two .pdf documents:

• Sermon outline and small group study questions
• Sermon transcript

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