iCrucified

Easter is Coming – What Do We Hunger and Thirst For? 

The season of Lent to Easter is an active reminder to me of what my soul hungers and thirsts for, unbroken or untainted union and fellowship with the Godhead. As I reflect upon the death and resurrection of my Lord, I mourn over the brokenness of my own spirit. There is joy in my life, to be sure; however, my union with God through Christ is still impure and still wanting. I see the world around me in disarray. The changing cycles of the seasons: spring to summer—autumn to winter are reminders of the circle of life to death that I believe may have been unheard of before the Fall of Man. I am also reminded of the Revelation writing of John; “Nothing accursed will be found there any more… And there will be no more night; they need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever” (Revelation 22:3, 5) when I am awakened each morning and I witness the dawn sun chasing away the darkness of night to remember this too is a sign the world (and I) are still broken. These thoughts remind me of how deep the brokenness of man truly is. Resurrection is the hope for the end all brokenness and this is my hunger.

I am joyful for the gift of God’s Holy Spirit indwelling; my mind has been renewed, my heart changed, and my sins forgiven. All these things are true, but the memories of my past still haunt me and my sins, while forgiven, still remain as scars that remind me of not only how far I once was from God, but how far I still am from him. I rejoice at my reconciliation with Messiah Jesus, but my rejoicing remains bittersweet. I wonder how it might have been for Adam, before his fellowship with the Godhead was broken. According to the Genesis account, Adam would have had no memories of sin… no knowledge of good and evil. The concept of corruption was nonexistent. Adam’s fellowship with God was untainted; allowing for unquestioned trust, love that was pure, and sacred union with the Trinity free from shadows of the false selves. I thirst for this union.

I realize the significance of Jesus’ atoning work for mankind; I receive the fruit of this work in my own life through the merciful grace of God. Daily are the wonders of this renewing force in the outworking of my life; even still there remains the tension between what is and what is yet to be. I hunger for resurrection. I thirst for untainted union with God. As Jesus prayed for us—for me—I long to be in glorious communion with Him as it was always meant to be even before time existed.

²⁰ ”My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:20-23 NIV)

I long for the Kingdom of God in full because I know when this comes, the memories of all sin will be forever erased and my union with Jesus finally whole and untainted. For now, I will continue to live between the clay and the glory…some days closer to the dirt from which I was made and some days closer to the glory that gave me life. Perhaps this is part of what Jesus meant when he pronounced blessing on those who are “poor in spirit” and those who are “pure in heart” that we recognize the liminality of our existence while we wait…realizing our brokenness, even though reconciled, and willing one thing: to be absolute and complete in our holy unity with You, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning and so shall it ever be; world without end. Amen.