iCrucified

I’m tired.

I wish I had more time to devote to my reading and my writing. At the moment my employment is consuming around 55% of my life… or more, if I count indirect consumption too. When I factor in sleep (a necessity I am told), I am left with less than 15% of my daily existence to call “my own.” This sounds like a selfish approach to my life, and without context or qualification it probably is, but that’s not what my thought is about. The bottom line is this; my flesh is in rebellion. I don’t like having less than 15% (translates to around 3.5 hours) of my time and day to do the things that are necessary to the maintenance of my family, running a household, planting/building a new church, devotional study, or any other element that “I” decide has value over sleep and employment. I know, I know… welcome to reality; right? I get it… seriously, I get it. My confession is not a complaint. My confession is a outward and public reminder for me to remember and be held accountable to the truth I know to be real.

I recognize God is “in” all I do, provided that I focus on responding to His movement and Presence in my life, but knowing that and even living obediently to that knowledge doesn’t make it any less difficult. I think, perhaps, this is an extended application of what it means to live missionally. Practically speaking, followers of Jesus are supposed to be vessels of the Most High God, taking the Good News to places that are not inhabited by the Gospel. I am positive that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not the authority of (or in) my workplace… Maybe, just maybe, my “mustard seed” of living the gospel while I am in the “chains” of my employer will bear the fruit of freedom for someone, if even indirectly. Perhaps my living faith may be a ray of hope that turns to the light of new life for someone or someones… The harsh truth to me is this:

If I am unable to live the Gospel in the gritty moments of life, what difference does it really make in the quiet comforts of life?

I will thank God the Spirit who dwells within me for calling me to account this day and I will respond with action to press on in joyful obedience for the sake of others who need His Truth. To God be the glory this day and forever. Amen.